WK 4 Wimba Sharing Session Alternative

As part of the Wimba blog post for this week we were asked, if unable to attend the Wimba sharing session, to ask two people to look over our presentation or document for help. I choose to ask two of my classmates Ana Gonzalez and Dana Scobie. We communicated through email and they reviewed my document using Google docs. After reading through my document here is what they had to say.

Here is what Ana suggested I do:

Hello Amanda,

Your leadership journal presentation looks good. You did a great job writing it. I do not know if you got approved to publish at Edutopia. One suggestion is to check with Edutopia or where ever you are planning to publish to see what are the requirements for publishing your leadership project. This will assist you to make sure you have the required information. Professor Bustillos had suggested to the other classmates publishing to possibly add graphics to their journal. You might also want to add data and references from your CBR project. You always do an awesome job. 

Let me know if you need anything else,

Ana Gonzalez

Here is what Dana suggested I do:

Hi Amanda,

Here are some thoughts: Check your capitalization in the title.  Make sure it's consistent.

Middle of introduction: Students would solve the challenge by generating a target audience solution to the “Big Idea” purposed.  proposed?Lit Review title, maybe spell out Literature? Near the end of the methodology section, Phase one far exceeded my expectations.....maybe take out "my".  I would suggest taking out any personal pronouns, keeping it in more "scholarly language". Overall, I think your paper looks great!  Just a few minor changes, as far as I'm concerned.

Dana

I have made the suggested changes and will be posting the completed document soon. Thank you Ana and Dana for your help!